i think the universe is telling me something...

the campaign to get me to admit to my judaism seems to be ramping up. i had a very funny moment last week walking past the temple round the corner from my house, where the security guards moved aside to let me through - even though i was clearly walking past and not into the grounds.

then this morning, i come across this t-shirt, which i totally want almost completely based on the cool little preview screen that magnifies the image. given my dislike of christmases (unless they're the white variety we tend to have here in sydney) with the family fights and the screaming children and the horrifically tone-deaf carollers, the thought of converting is starting to appeal.

then i remember what i'd have to lose to become one of God's chosen. no rush on that one.

that, and i'm an atheist. might be a bit of trouble to convince the rabbi that the goy that looks jewish should just become one.

[Discoo]

All I want for christmas...

I've been wondering what I want to do next now that I'm allowed to go back to the gym. Then I found this:



One word: shoulders.


[PEN15 club: MVP(en15): James Marsden]
[innerjoejoe: iCandy: Josh, James & Beckham]

Reasons we love CVM

* She introduces me to fabulous things like Cat and Girl:

* She has muchas intelligence, love and humour
* She goes to Elton John concerts with me and sings along with him (and with me singing along with him)
* Her sense of entitlement to a strong opinion on everything
* Her fabulous letters to the editor competition

muchas besos to you, Claudia.

[Chez CVM]

Piratical Discourses

Contrary to the opinion espoused in Pirates of the Caribbean, there was never a single pirate code. Being a pirate at the moment (more on this later), I guess I should stick to one of the few recorded pirate codes - that of 'Black Bart' Roberts:

1. Every man shall have an equal vote in affairs of moment. He shall have an equal title to the fresh provisions or strong liquors at any time seized, and shall use them at pleasure unless a scarcity may make it necessary for the common good that a retrenchment may be voted.

I am so ecstatic that the ALP have come into power in the Australian House of Representatives. More important, though, is the Senate result; if the Liberals don't lose their majority, then we are basically facing an untenable situation for the next three years.

I'm proud to say that I campaigned for GetUp! this weekend, in my seat of Wentworth. I don't really care that Malcolm Turnbull won again; at least we managed to get the occasional person to think through where they stood. It may take some extra time to get him out, but at least it means there's a change of government, hopefully there will be an attendant compassionate change of attitude in this country generally. It's not that I believe in Krudd; it's that I find the Liberal/National coalition and their allies on the far right and überfundamentalist side of things so utterly distasteful. I don't know if he will just be a paler version of the eyebrow man, i'm just hoping his ascension brings a little more love my way.

2. Every man shall be called fairly in turn by the list on board of prizes, because over and above their proper share, they are allowed a shift of clothes. But if they defraud the company to the value of even one dollar in plate, jewels or money, they shall be marooned. If any man rob another he shall have his nose and ears slit, and be put ashore where he shall be sure to encounter hardships.

I'm back on the job hunt.

My latest foray has ended before it began. Based on a pitch I made in one of my classes, one of the other students (who owns her own agency) decided to headhunt me. So far so good.

After doing some tests and a face-to-face interview, I was offered what I thought was a dream position. All I needed to see was the full job description and letter of offer, and everything was great. So I waited for it.

And waited.

And waited.

We had a few phone conversations in the meantime. First, I was meant to start working in the middle of (what is now last) week, but then that got delayed. Then, I was meant to start today.

Except she never sent the bloody paperwork over.

So, on Friday, after delaying another set of meetings, she finally called one last meeting - on Sunday at 4pm. Alright, is she sure? Yes, absolutely - see you Sunday.

I turned up on Sunday at the arranged place at the arranged time. I waited an hour before going home.

I was way too angry to talk to her, so I left it alone. I finally got a phone call from her this morning, wondering where I was. I explained in no uncertain terms that I was disgusted by such a disrespectful act.

Suffice it to say, I will not be working for this woman. Ever.

3. None shall game for money either with dice or cards.

I won on the horsies the other week. Still have to pick up my winnings.

4. The lights and candles should be put out at eight at night, and if any of the crew desire to drink after that hour they shall sit upon the open deck without lights.

I have partied a little too hard this last few weeks. Time for a bit of slowing down.

5. Each man shall keep his piece, cutlass and pistols at all times clean and ready for action.

Hmm... Need to clean the house again. I don't hate you, etc.

6. No boy or woman to be allowed amongst them. If any man shall be found seducing any of the latter sex and carrying her to sea in disguise he shall suffer death.

No risk of that one any time soon.

7. He that shall desert the ship or his quarters in time of battle shall be punished by death or marooning.

No rush on that one, either.

Sticking around here as long as I can.

8. None shall strike another on board the ship, but every man's quarrel shall be ended on shore by sword or pistol in this manner. At the word of command from the quartermaster, each man being previously placed back to back, shall turn and fire immediately. If any man do not, the quartermaster shall knock the piece out of his hand. If both miss their aim they shall take to their cutlasses, and he that draweth first blood shall be declared the victor.

What a much cleaner way to do this.

I have a certain friend who has misheard me a couple of times, and complaining to other friends that I am being exceedingly cruel towards them. There's two problems with the situation, really:

• I absolute love and adore this particular individual, but she won't bring the issues up with me directly; and


• She is apparently so offended that she won't answer the phone if i ring.

Thankfully, she will answer her emails, so I figure resolution of the situation will have to occur in a circular manner. You know, as much as I appreciate the delicacy of the whole thing, I find it's just easier to have your barney up front and then clear everything asap.

9. No man shall talk of breaking up their way of living till each has a share of 1,000. Every man who shall become a cripple or lose a limb in the service shall have 800 pieces of eight from the common stock and for lesser hurts proportionately.

As I mentioned earlier, I am currently in pirate land. It all started three weeks ago, when I woke up seeing double.

After five days of testing, it was determined that I have a paralysed nerve in my left eye, caused by a viral infection. Until the paralysis clears completely, I will have to wear an eye patch. So the pirate/pinkeye jokes are flowing like crazy, and I'm only starting to get used to the staring everywhere I go.

There is a definite bonus to the situation: I am meeting people like crazy. Everyone wants to know why I would be bringing pirate back, so there's opportunities abound to make new friends.

10. The captain and the quartermaster shall each receive two shares of a prize, the master gunner and boatswain, one and one half shares, all other officers one and one quarter ugly, and private gentlemen of fortune one share each.

Hmmm... can I be quartermaster or captain? See job search, above.

I think I need to win the lottery. Maybe then I can skip the whole job search and just go straight to the next phase (start award-winnning business, sell it off for mega bucks, and then spend the rest of my life living in Sydney half the year, and somewhere else the other half).

11. The musicians shall have rest on the Sabbath Day only by right. On all other days by favor only.

Still being confused for a Jew. This latest time, it was for living in Woollahra.

Does this mean the musos get Saturday off? 'Cause that's wrong.

[Wikipedia: Bartholomew Roberts]
[Urban Dictionary: John Howard]
[IMDB: Mommie Dearest]

if only...

Fingers crossed.

If the listing has gone down, I've also included a brief screen shot below:



My personal favourite part of the review:

"* Includes a $200 000 set of executive chairs (not from IKEA!)"

[Digital Mischief]

i knew there was something about this one...

Conspiracy theory of the week: Muscles is the love child of Dave Dobbyn.

Just In: Not only am I Jewish, apparently I'm a Mormon too...

I mentioned the other day that I keep getting told I'm Jewish. It's kind of amusing, given the anti-semitism that was so rampant among many of the ukrainians I grew up around (i'm not excluding family members in that, either).

Anyway, apparently Gmail is convinced I'm a bike-carrying member of the Church of Jesus Christ of the Latter-Day Saints. This Ad link was up today on my inbox:

On My Island Website



Do they realise I'm more likely to be the person RELEASING the dog than running away from it?

i want it right now

A few videos:

1) This came across via an old friend's Facebook wall. Something about Serge Gainsbourg that reminds me that I have to stop causing so much trouble in my own bedroom:



Aw. Remember when Whitney was wholesome and naive? Apparently it wasn't Bobby that ruined her - we can always blame the French.

2) I heard Armand van Helden's I Want your Soul for the first time at Sleaze Ball, hanging out with a couple of guys who are fast becoming close friends of mine. The track stuck in my head, and I've been trying to work out what it is - it took a trip to the Colombian to find out, typically.

Anyway, all this is to say that I've found the video clip of Siedah Garrett's Do You Want it Right Now - the song that AVH samples in IWYS:

Things I'm loving right now

• Dragonette
• Lagerfeld Confidential
• Mashable
• Quicksilver
• Annie Lennox

• Twothousand.com.au
• Apple Leopard (well, I want to have it... it's just so pretty)
• Able and Baker

• Damages
• LOLcat bible
• Pasta alla Putanesca
  

courtesy of an old friend...

Well, at least it gives new meaning to the phrase 'they should be shot and not heard'...

Hands up those not disturbed by Bullet Proof Baby.

I mean, who else would you turn to at those times your child needs to avoid that drive-by shooting in your 'hood?

It's that self-indulgent time of the year again

Then again, what time of year isn't self-indulgent?

Oh, that's right: Yom Kippur.
Then again, being the good Jew* that I am, I observe my birthday more regularly.

Also, having the wonderful good friends that I do**, I'm always asked what they should get me. So, at Lady M's specific instruction, I have updated my Amazon wishlist in the leadup to my twenty-nth birthday.

Here it is people.
* By Jew, I mean "Ukrainian ex-Catholic middle-class poofter". Strangely enough, even a lot of Jewish people seem not to understand the difference. I had a few young hasidic kids throwing off Shaloms to me on Friday at Bondi Junction Westfield. Maybe it's cos Hasidism started up in Ukraine?
** This part is true.

Things I thought would never happen to me.

1) I would enjoy a Vanessa Amorosi performance

Maybe it was the substances I'd ingested, or the fact I'd just been partying for 11 hours straight, but her rendition of Kiss Your Mama (official vid clip below) at Sleaze was fantastic. Would've loved to see her close out the party with a couple more songs, tho...



2) I could be so disgusted by a play that I would walk out of it

I went to see the STC run of Don's Party at the Opera House last night. Halfway through the first act, I found myself feeling the most intense case of cultural cringe such that I had to step out of the theatre.

Now, admittedly, it could have been just from watching an STC play - I'm such a theatre snob that I rarely can stomach the 'mainstream' companies. Personally, I'm more comfortable with an amateur company that ambitiously attempts a new play and fails than watching a big company (like Sydney Theatre Company) do yet another ho-hum interpretation of another 'iconic' Australian playwright.

Couple that with my general dislike of anything related to Australian culture between 1940 and 1990, and I pretty much set myself up. The funny thing, is that a) I've always wanted to see Don's Party performed, and b) I ended up enjoying the second act a lot better than the first, after an intermission-time discussion about my reaction.

Gimme Less/Tears of an Uptight Clown

A couple of random weeks have come to a close, so I'd thought I'd try to make sense of them through the power of pop culture.

I've been feeling very lazy lately.
My university assignments are getting done at the last minute, my personal filing system (usually immaculate) is all over the place, my stuff in storage is probably growing an extra leg from the mould growing inside. In other words, it's not pretty. So I've decided to take the advice of one Ms Tyra Banks:



A friend turned around to me at a party a few weeks ago and asked why I don't smile any more.



At the time, I had a very bad case of some virus and it was a struggle to just be at this event, let alone giggle away all the time. I didn't want to say anything about it, but the comment did get under my skin.
I guess it comes down to me taking myself a little too seriously lately. It's time to allow me to laugh at myself. Weird to admit it, though.

I'm not sure that I'm ready for a relationship, but I'm really sick of meeting idiots.
I guess it would be the feeling that Amy Winehouse would have if she woke up to her husband's drug spiral. Or Kate Moss.



Thank fuck I'm not in love, though.



Maybe I need to hang out at some more (even just slightly more) intelligent parties or something. And stay away from London. (I think that advice is equally valid for Mr Doherty, FYI.)

On a vaguely related note, I could be off on a weird tangent here, but don't you think that it's pretty much a given that the Moss/Doherty and Winehouse/Fielder-Civil relationships will only end with the (fatal) overdose of one of the partners?

Morbid thought, though.

Right, I'm off to laugh at the sorry state of my poor fridge.

[Perez Hilton: We Just Can't Get Enough]
[Able & Baker: Run on Fun]
[Mollygood: Drinkin' and Snortin' and Fightin']
[Best Week Ever: ICYMI: Pete Doherty & Kate Moss Still Video Documenting their Mutual Love of Drugs]

No, I have NOT been smoking any of that stuff...

Pity, really. I could do with a good relax.

ANYWAY, I've been reading quite a lot of random material lately.

Let me just start off by talking about Manuel de Landa's A Thousand Years of Nonlinear History. If you are in any way interested in a) historiography; b) philosophy; c) cultural history; d) economic theories; e) the debate about the relevance of science to the humanities, and vice versa; or f) any or all of the above, READ it.

I know it's 10 years old, and that there's other work building on the book, but this is just a fascinating read. And I'm only halfway through. Plus it works with everything I've been reading about dynamic (nonlinear) systems theory in the last few months.

On the other hand, I've just finished the latest Harry Potter (well, the day after it came out), and the last Tales of the City, Michael Tolliver Lives.

The most interesting topic I've been reading about, however, is to do with time. Now, Einstein's theory of relativity posits that time is experienced relatively - the speed at which your body travels through space affects your experience of time (or at least, that's my vague memory of the theory wrt time).

Then there's a concept I came across a while back - Henri Bergson's Virtual, which states that our perception of Now is based on our experience, as visualised through the connection of many possibilities. It's kind of complicated, but I'll give it a shot: effectively, our minds draw from a space called the Virtual (strangely enough, a virtual space) in which every image and concept (whether already-experienced or potential) exists. The way we make sense of any experience we have is to draw upon the Virtual. In other words, we make sense of the current sensations by filtering the various images that come to mind.

What has this got to do with time? Well, the images that come to mind are not just memories (aka. images of the past) - they are also images of presents-that-aren't, of pasts-that-never-were and futures-that-could-be. In other words, time is relative and somewhat circular - it is only present experience that is able to create a linear
impression of time (aka. past -> present -> future).

Anyway, all this is to say that there are plenty of valid philosophies and models for the way time operates.

Which (finally!) brings me to two interesting articles that have come across my desk in the last few weeks. The first, in which it turns out a simple light experiment comes up with very strange results. Apparently, the photons in this experiment either form stripes or spots depending on whether they are observed directly (following the uncertainty principle). However, the strange bit is when photons form spots when observed - but where the observing device is revealed after the photons have already passed through the barrier that supposedly decides the outcome. In other words, a future event affects the present outcome.

Now, a systems perspective would suggest that this is a matter of feedback playing itself out in time - elements related to the situation feeds back to the inputs and decide the ultimate outcome of the situation. It's a nonlinear model of time; the past and the future collude to make sense of the present. (Sound somewhat similar?).

Now, that's presuming time exists at all. Maybe it is just easy to think of time as an organizing concept; yet another social construct (nonetheless with real effects) that helps us to make sense.

[CTheory.Net: 1000 Years of War]
[Manuel De Land Annotated Bibliography]
[Good Morning Silicon Valley: Had we but world enough, and time]
[MSNBC.com: Putting Time in a (Leaky) Bottle]
[DISCOVER: Newsflash: Time May Not Exist]

Random Sightings

Darling Harbour, 5.30pm today:

Woman wearing a t-shirt with "stupidity's not a crime, so you're free to go" logo in comic sans.

First thought: "No, but using comic sans is."

Then: "Heh."

Something more interesting, then (apologies for any squashing):



[Youtube:PS3 vs Wii Commercial]

Hangover Sunday

Somehow, half of sydney decided to go out last night. It was so mad, I managed to walk from the Barracks to Taylor Square on Oxford st (a distance of a good 500m) faster than the cars next to me.

Anyway, a big result of this is that I have a tequila hangover and am not capable of offering more than some random quips this week.

Anyway, I caught up with a friend of mine at Slide. He was there for the birthday party for a guy I went out with I think on one date, and I can't remember exactly, but he didn't call me back or something, so I thought he was a prick, then he gave me this huge apology a month ago at the Green Park, but I digress. So this friend, J, (aka. not the not-quite-prick birthday boy) has been having this on-off thing with one of those morons who is always chasing after him with flattering text messages. In typical style, the guy never follows through by meeting with him. Anyway, J's confused and hurt by the whole thing, so we just agreed to get drunk. Then he picked up, and I ended up having tequila slams with La Skankalita, his sister and some random ginger.

So, Lily Allen. I'm a big fan of Lily - so are the GFY girls incidentally (like here and here). But I'd never seen the film clip for Smile until this morning. It's fabulous - great for those 'i've just been dumped by you and you're a total prick so i should totally get my friends to trash your life the way you've trashed mine' moments. Check it out:



Oh, and if all else fails - you could just play a game of faceball.

[Barseed: Slide]
[Gofugyourself:Well Played: Lily Allen]
[Gofugyourself:Well Played: Lily Allen]
[Lily Allen]
[Faceball]

Apparently, all I need is a white streak of some sort...

You scored as Rogue, Rogue is a strong but tragic personality. She loves Gambit. Because of her mutant powers, she cannot touch anyone without hurting them. Therefore, she longs for human contact. However, this southern gal's strong personality has allowed her to deal with this. Powers: Absorbs lifeforce and powers by touch, Super strength, and flight Rogue 75% Gambit 65% Wolverine 60% Jean Grey 60% Emma Frost 55% Beast 55% Iceman 55% Colossus 55% Cyclops 45% Storm 45% Nightcrawler 40% Most Comprehensive X-Men Personality Quiz 2.0 created with QuizFarm.com

Random Harry Potter Saturday

Some thoughts (I've only read the first chapter):

• Typical - Voldemort WOULD stay at the Malfoys
• Who would honestly cast Wormwood as the Dungeon Keeper?
• Based on the friendship quote at the beginning of the book, I bet Hermione, Ron or Neville are going down. And given it's the last book, all are equally likely.
• Maybe Bellatrix and Neville will have their showdown. That would be pretty cool.
  

Also, based on the conversation Lady M and I had on the way to breakfast, Italians can easily be summed up as the Baker of the piece (that would be the monkey):



And since it's been a while since I blogged, some random thoughts.

• Chore Wars. Is there any better way to get geeks to clean their room?
• My friend CK and I have decided, in response to that stupid Sociology paper comparing myspace and facebook users, that we are going to trash our Facebook profiles up with all sorts of useless applications. So far, I am a Lieftenant Zombie, my stripper name is Kyle Bangleboss, I routinely Food Fight, I get useless gifts from friends, my Graffiti wall includes a drawing of my head while hungover and a picture of a crocodile, and I'm twins with the wilma and the morag.
  
• I want a Glen Hanson Golden Girls t-shirt! So does Weasel, I suspect.
• Simpsonize me sucks. As a comparison, look at what I came up with on the Simpsons Movie site (the first one) and the crappy Simpsonize Me version (from a frontal, and NOT side on, photo taken on my spanky new MacBook - further down):
  
  
  
  
  
  

[Able and Baker]
[Chore Wars]
[GMSV: Honey, about your new boyfriend — your mom and I think he’s a little too “MySpacey” for you]
[Glen Hanson]
[weasel's wacky world of poptaculosity]
[Simpsonize Me]
[Simpsons Movie]

you did NOT just *accidentally* purchase that closet case??

Ralph Lauren has created a touch-screen window shopping display that allows you to purchase the clothing at their new store. Apparently, they doublecheck the payment the next day...

I wonder if you can purchase a home-delivered trophy wife and get a complimentary trip back to the closet in the process.

[engadget:Ralph Lauren unveils "touch-sensitive window shopping" in London]
[Ralph Lauren UK]

Those disconap boys, I think they're on to something...

I've said it once, I'll say it a million times. Bless her highness, Roisin. She's back, and sexier than ever.

She's beautiful, sings like an angel and I dare anyone having sex to The Time is Now not to be getting it on in the right way.

Well, unless you're having hard and fast sex that involves whips and blood. That's what Pure Pleasure Seeker and Indigo are for. Anyway, here's the clip.

BTW, I had a rather unfortunate incident in LA where people proclaimed not to know who Moloko were. This is WRONG, people.

UPDATE: I only just noticed the Roisin Overpowered Remixed myspace page. I officially love the Loose Cannons mix.

[Disconap: Oh God. Oh God. Oh God.]
[Roisin Murphy on MySpace]
[Roisin Remixed on MySpace]

Random Thought

avocado looks weird on blueberry bagels

A touch of the deja vu

Most people know that the first guy I ever dated was a drag queen (hi Oleander!) I joke now that the reason we broke up was that there was only enough room for one diva in any of my relationships, but Olly is a good friend who I love dearly. Lives in a fabulous apartment with his boyfriend in East Melbourne, too, and is an amazing artist (I still have to commission him to paint me something when I've got some dosh).

ANYWAY, the point of this post is that I just saw this in one of my procrastinatory moments - fabulous video of what goes into transforming a boy into a girl (for the night). Check it out:



[Queerty - The Making of a Queen]

Narcolepsy is, like, evil

Damn this stupid jetlag.

It's screwed with me all week. I've fallen (further) behind in my studies.

Tonight, I even managed to randomly fall asleep on Wilma's couch (not an unusual occurrence if I've had a few). Still wearing my shoes and glasses.

My head hurts.

You say 'tag', I write 'wtf'

Ok, I've been tagged, which means something - I'm not sure exactly what, but gathering on other posts, I'm supposed to give eight random facts about myself. I think. Here goes:

• I didn't speak English until I was four. However, I used to speak Ukrainian pretty much fluently from the age of two until four. Funny to consider when I try to speak in ukrainian to grandma on the phone, or even the amount of verbal diarrhoea that I spew forth in english nowadays.
• My mother was almost an Italian citizen. She was born within a couple of weeks of my grandparents arriving in Australia from Trieste. Coulda woulda shoulda prada, but it may have meant that my siblings and I could get an EU faster than waiting for either Bosnia or Ukraine to become proper members.
  
• Whilst at university, I used to work as a bussie at the coolest drum and bass night in Melbourne - this was when I had no sense of style. God knows how I managed to score so many drugs, dressed up in black dress pants, a black Bonds t-shirt and crappy dress shoes.
• Speaking of university, when I was queer officer at Melbourne University Student Union, we had the inaugural Queer Recruitment week, including all manner of military imagery for the posters. The queers loved and hated it, but it managed to get a laugh out of practically everyone, even the military recruiters all over campus. (To give credit, the idea was my co-office bearer's - I just got to have fun with Photoshop, Quark and Illustrator putting the pics together).
  
• Oh, for Queer Recruitment week, we had a karaoke night, for which I turned up in the gayest outfit I've ever worn (I think I might still have the olive mesh top lying around somewhere). When noone wanted to go first, my co-QOB got me to go up and chose the song - Aqua's Barbie Girl.
  
• Screw You by Elton John is one of my favourite songs.
• I really don't like Carson Cressley.
• Or Gretel Killeen. More specifically, Gretel's stylist.
• For that matter, I'm not a fan of Bathy's stylist either.
• Big fan of Bathy, tho - Love her work. Apparently, she makes great cupcakes for la Wilma, too.

Oops. 10 points. Right, who's next? Manky?

[QueerPenguin]
[Claudia]
[Some random person that this is all due to]

LA was a Riot

I've had heaps of fun, staying at a friend's place in WeHo. Some thoughts about my mini-break:

1) Wear flip-flops/thongs to the airport.
No one likes those smelly-sock-feet when you're going through the domestic security screen.

2) Check for all your stuff before you leave
Know how you forget something when you go on holiday?
This time it was my debit card. Except I realised that it was stolen and someone withdrew the balance of the account last week. Bugger. Oh well, something to talk to the police about tomorrow. And then the bank.

3) Keep your laptop separate from the rest of your hand luggage for the security screen at the airport.

I'm a lucky boy. Security forced me to sit while they lifted and separated my luggage. Then they ran the piles of stuff through the scanners. Twice.

4) Be gracious in accepting your hosts' hospitality.

Especially if they're both hot. Offer gifts - like mornings full of groups sex. Especially when they're both into it.

5) An Australian accent does all sorts of things to gay Americans.

Especially hot latino men who will drop to their knees and offer a good blowjob at an after-hours blowout.

6) Go to after-hours blowouts...

7) No matter where you go, Cher is still a diva

As is Madonna, Babs, Better and all the others. And the Americans now know who Kylie is - especially the dancing queens.

8) References to Prisoner: Cell Block H will get you anywhere with 30+ yo hot gay men.

This is just randomly added for QP's amusement.

9) I love LA, but I couldn't live there.

That said, I'll happily visit WeHo at the drop of a hat.

Oh, there's a really cool hat store there called Goorin Brothers - very nice.

10) Most important - check out the bartenders at every venue, and make sure to talk to them.

They'll sometimes give your drink for free if they think you're hot - cf. item #5 above.

11) Uncle Charlie is not a nice copassenger, no matter how short the flight.

aka. White lines - don't do it.

kisses, B

Can't. Talk. Must. Study.

I have been very lazy when it comes to my studies whilst here. Really must finish all that work due two days ago.

Anyway, some more random observations from today:

• Gotta love this city. How often do you find a straight transgender woman police commissioner?
• Also, the street mags contain really interesting, cogent reporting. Like this piece on corruption in the necropolis city...

Oh, and best for last - I sat opposite a real life, latina Vicky Pollard on the bus this morning. I mean, full-out over-tight black jacket with overly small black denim capris, white plastic belt and hoop earrings, black sneakers, tight black ponytail with brass-coloured fringe flicking to the right...

Ok, so she looked a little more like 'I ain't bovvered' Lauren's best friend from the Catherine Tate Show than Vicky, but as soon as she started gossiping loudly about some friends of hers, how she had been suspended from school and her man, all I could think was 'No, but yeah, but no, but yeah...'

The First Rule of Berkeley Book Readings is Don't Talk about the Line

I've been getting some strange comments from the guys at work. They're all having trouble understanding my 'accent' - apparently, the 'toilet paper English' Australians speak is hard for Americans to comprehend.

Anyway, moving Backwards...

Last night - After my first gym session since arriving: obligatory Tales of the City checkoff moment (a drink at The Stud II), followed by dinner and drinks with a pastry chef cum architect in the Castro. Fabulous new recipes for salads and desserts, and getting taught 8-ball and 9-ball at the pool table at Moby Dick's.

Wednesday morning - Franciscan monk spotted on the corner of Church & 14th. As is typical, wearing red laptop satchel and wearing a NY Yankees baseball cap. Franciscans in San Francisco - who would've thought?

Sunday afternoon - the boys from the office hired a car and took me around town. Saw the most amazing view from Twin Peaks of the city (it was a fogless day, and I typically forgot my camera), and had hamburgers from this fantastic hole in the wall in Sausalito after sleazing over hot men on the beach in Marin County. This was then followed by a couple of drinks at The Mix. The weirdest thing? Toss up - meeting a meek drag queen or a man who begged I sleep with his ex so that he could get some sex...

Saturday - After crawling out of bed at 3pm, went for late brunch at the Grove on Fillmore
(Pacific Heights) - really nice! Then stumbled through Chinatown and upper downtown til I eventually found Union Square. Met the Support Diva, and she took me with her to a book reading by Chuck Palahniuk at UC Berkeley. (photos on the Flickr account)

The sight of all those aspiring writers did something to us. The Diva and I came up with a great introductory speech ("You really think you can make it as a writer? Well, you can't!! It's too hard a life - just ask this schmuck..."). Then I managed to fall asleep during one of the readings. Thank God I don't snore. Oh, and he threw out fake dismembered limbs and plastic hamburgers at the end of the event. I have a hamburger - got it signed, but only after a TWO HOUR wait in the line. Diva and I were so insane by the end (and they didn't even have the decency to offer drinks while we waited), that she asked him if there might be some mistake, but does he realise the second rule of Fight Club is the same as the first?

One last thing - you could take photos with the author, but only if one of you held a veil and a bouquet. The Diva went through that once, thank you very much, so it was my turn apparently. Worst part of the evening, tho? Getting back to SF at 1am, having missed all the Cinco de Mayo celebrations across the city...Eh, at least I have a signed hamburger.

Friday - a rather inebriating dinner at a coworker's house (including my white shirt being bled on by his pet chihuahua), followed by dancing at the Endup. Met the hottest straight Irishman on earth, then his best friend (I think Busty would well like him, too). Then the hot boy set me up with a spunky primary elementary school teacher. Didn't realise the teacher was 46yo until 3pm the next day - he seriously looked like he was in his early thirties. Oops!

here i thought brothers and sisters was getting too much SD-6 action

WARNING: Spoilers ahead (this is for Lady M)

OK, so four days into SF and i've barely had a chance to experience this city. That said, I've caught up with a lot of TV watching, meaning I've gotten very confused with the shows that run however many weeks ahead here. For example:

• Eva Longoria is engaged to the watersports senator from Sex and the City
• Evil Francie from Alias is Madison from Grey's Anatomy's best friend
• The bastard daughter in Brothers & Sisters is committing adultery with one of her half-brothers-in-law
• OH, and I just watched Tyra Banks freak out at the sight of furry animals on her chat show - to the point where she knocked over half her set.

I forgot how weird this country is. Oh, and the one night I did go out:

• I got serenaded by a wannabe opera singer. Cute, but not as cute as
• The filmmaker I met in the smoking room of the bar
• or the Dutch travellers and their pseudo-boyfriends at Badlands

More later...

Good Morning SF

So I'm heading in to SF.

I'll be there until May 18th. Any suggestions what to do while I'm there (*apart from the scenery*)?

B

apparently, i'm balanced

or at least balanced-brained:

That means you are able to draw on the strengths of both the right and left hemispheres of your brain, depending upon a given situation.

When you need to explain a complicated process to someone, or plan a detailed vacation, the left hemisphere of your brain, which is responsible for your ability to solve problems logically, might kick in. But if you were critiquing an art opening or coming up with an original way to file papers, the right side of your brain, which is responsible for noticing subtle details in things, might take over.

While many people have clearly dominant left- or right-brained tendencies, you are able to draw on skills from both hemispheres of your brain. This rare combination makes you a very creative and flexible thinker.

The down side to being balanced-brained is that you may sometimes feel paralyzed by indecision when the two hemispheres of your brain are competing to solve a problem in their own unique ways.

Yeah, right.

[Stingo: Algebra?!]
[Tickle: The Brain Test]

You know you're watching quality television when the chook stops squawking...

For some reason, despite the fact it is a public holiday, I can't sleep. So I start flicking through the channels on the TV to find a report on Channel Nine's Today Show on the Royal Easter show (currently under way, strangely enough).

The scary bit? The reporter was interviewing (at the same time) a world champion hula hooper AND getting a demonstration on how to clean chickens.

Don't get me wrong - I'm all for the promotion of poultry cleanliness. No one wants that chicken flu anywhere near them.

Is it just a bit much to ask that we not be put through the spectacle of watching the chook being cleaned while a girl in a black satin costume and big sunglasses twirls hoops around her neck and waist in the background?

I mean, here's one of the reasons why Today keeps losing to Sunrise in the morning show ratings stakes - they can't properly identify how much information you need to put to make a story. This is two stories, people - make two SEPARATE segments!

Ukrainian-Irish Stuff

So, I received a completely unreadable email from my cousin today (strangely enough, not an unusual occurrence). Unreadable, that is, except for this image:



Which of course made me think that I really want to head to that t-shirt store where they print what you want on t-shirts for you with the following design:

St Patrick's Day
getting Ugly Catholics pregnant
ever since the bastard killed that dragon.

(Yes, I realise that it was in fact St George that slayed the dragon. I was brought up Catholic - and I am thoroughly relishing the idea of getting preggers tomorrow).

we love claudia

I realise I talk a lot about his penguinness, but that may be just because he seems to be the one who writes the most amount of copy that I can link to. There are a few other stars in the family who deserve equal amounts of attention.

Instead of harp about each of them together, I would just love to say how much I enjoy the rantings of one claudia marckx. Claudia rocks - as a friend, as one hell of an intellectual and as a frequent contributor to the SMH letters page. And she can write - albeit infrequently.

It just makes it so much easier to dismiss her inexplicable love of Clover Moore.

what a beautiful photoshoot - what a shame the model is a whore...

I'm growing to really love Disconap. They're always introducing me to some fantastic new acts.

As anyone who knows me will tell you, Saturday morning is sacred to me - I spend it reading the paper (just heading out to pick it up right now, actually), attempt the cryptic crossword and flicking through various blogs and websites - places like QueerPenguin, Dr McNinja, Able and Baker, GoFugYourself, Queerty (gotta love those Morning Goods), Same Same (hi Christian!), Threadbared, SocialiteLife, The Huffington Post, Dlist, Gay.com (did you know they actually have good interviews once in a while? Well, I do now!) and countless others. Some are necessary reading, others when I'm in the mood. I think Disconap has now definitely has got its 'necessary' box ticked.

And every so often, they come up with something so funny, I have to share it somehow - like the Sports Illustrated combined Swimsuit & Music edition. I mean, as if I would ever look at SI - I'd have to be introduced to it by some straight guy, or at least a music website (yes, that sounded strange to me, too).

Aaaaannnnyyywayyyy, one of the genius moments that they had was getting the kids from Panic! At the Disco to do a shoot with a model in a swimsuit. (Did I mention that I learnt about P!ATD from The St James Version - another Saturday morning favourite?) As every one of the two blog entries I've read about this has mentioned, there's just way too much stage makeup on those boys - great for Julie Henderson, I guess, cos she looks absolutely hot compared to those wannabe-pansy-queers. I mean, check out the eyebrows on Brendon Urie (I've just learnt that the kids call him 'Bden' - so cute! And lame too!).

On a VAGUELY related note, I still don't understand that 'Sins not Tragedies' song. I mean, what constitutes a 'sense of poise and rationality'? Maybe I've misheard it and it's actually a sense of poison rationality - in which case, does this mean that it's some form of 'rationality' that poisons the mind, or is it actually Poison rationality, which makes you sometimes wish to God you didn't know now the things you didn't know then?

Ok, enough of the P!ATD bashing - my internal homophobia can now return to its cage having mauled its target of the week.

So, like, yeah, I will definitely read DN more often.

It Came from WTF [DN]
Swimsuits! at the Disco aka Why Is Ryan Ross Not In Briefs? [So More Scene]

a bit of the new...

ok, so i've been listening to different musicians lately. some of the musicians i've been listening to recently:

1. Augie March - Loving the new album!
2. Hot Chip. Over and Over has been stuck in my head for ages, and listening to them has also introduced me to:
3. Amy Winehouse. That Dinah Washington thing with her voice is amazing - and the Hot Chip remix of Rehab rocks.
4. Mika - you gotta love, love him.
5. Lily Allen. She's foul mouthed and pretends to not not be middle class - too many similarities there...
6. The Gossip. Ok, so Beth Ditto got voted rock person of the year or whatever, and that's how i found out about them, but there's just something about that band...

Anyway, that's enough. I have to be... somewhere else.

Last Impressions also count...

I've been avoiding writing blog entries for a while. Not because I don't enjoy writing (I do, when I get myself into it), or because I haven't had topics (I have), but because I've been really uninterested in spending my whole time looking back. I'm trying to change my life at the moment (as usual), and am a little concerned that my blog writing has become nothing more than a wallowing exercise.

Which makes this post somewhat puzzling. But it has it's reason - it's here to remind me of the sorts of situations I never want to be in again. Just to quickly recap (film-brochure style):

After moving out of a tedious household situation and escaping a string of morons and commitment-phobs in his personal life, Bads33d decides that he needs to focus on career goals and setting himself up financially before he can consider living with other people or dating someone. Unsurprisingly, within two weeks, he meets someone interesting and proceeds to start seeing him. All is well for two months, until he receives an unusual email one Friday morning...

So, I'm just about to post the email. This is not vindictive - frankly, I think the guy I was seeing has enough issues not to need another one added to the list, and besides I deliberately waited a few weeks before posting this. I guess it's to act as a personal mnemonic device: I've placed it up somewhere to remind myself how not to go about breaking up with someone and
just the sorts of thing that I've been letting myself get in and basically need to avoid.
Anyway, without further ado:

My thought for the day,
The desire to succeed means nothing without the will to prepare!
Funny that, I can so relate.

Babe I really need to talk to you about you and I.
Won’t go to too much detail at the moment but rather face to face as that would be more appropriate.

In brief, you said you ‘didn’t want a weekend boyfriend a while ago’.
Well I feel that may well be the case dating me.

I feel really bad because that’s all I’m able to offer you. I can well imagine you’re probably just as frustrated as I am at the moment and that will be very damaging to our relationship if we continue or rather if I continue doing this to you.

You’re a beautiful souls and a beautiful man and have a huge heart, but I just don’t want to lead you on and hurt you.
Quite honestly, I really love your company, your intellect and your scattiness even more. It’s a constant form of entertainment.

I really believe our intimate beginnings have made for a strong foundation to base a friendship on.
I said that if this didn’t work out I’d still love to have you around as a friend and I still stand by that comment.
I do want you around as a friend.

Hopefully after reading this you too want to maintain a friendship.
I not though, I also understand.

Give me a call or send an email and let me know what your thoughts are.

My immediate thought when I received this? Oh shit, here I am again.

That said, I've been thinking about my approach to life a lot lately. I don't have an answer to it all, but I do have a few ideas. More on this soon...

hey, i think you may have forgotten missy elliott and queen latifah...

Ever had one of those days where you feel really down, like God's not looking after you?

Maybe it's because you've been listening to Gay Bands!

PS. I never knew George Michael was Texan! Or that John Mayer is gay - well, at least that explains Jessica Simpson...