Gossip Girl: An OC-Lover's Guide

Josh Schwartz's latest project, Gossip Girl, has started showing in Australia, exclusively on cable.

I've been debating whether to write this post given there's so many (check out a few, below) others, especially this article doing practically the same thing.

The thing is, they're just a wee bit too simplistic. Sure, you can map most of the characters from the OC pretty easily to their Gossip Girl equivalents, e.g.

Marissa Cooper is cooler and more worldly as Serena van der Woodsen.



Kaitlin Cooper gets bigger exposure as Jenny Humphrey, as does Oliver as Chuck Bass:




Luke Ward has his equal in Nate Archibald:



There's also the 'trouble' with fathers: Nate's likes a little too much of a sniff of the coke , whereas Luke's is gay. The mapping is supposed to continue in the second season, with a storyline where he gets to see an older woman played by Central Park West's Mädchen Amick (remind you of anyone?):



Seth's first girlfriend, Anna Stern, becomes Dan's friend Vanessa Abrams:



Of course, Sandy Cohen translates Eastward as ex-rocker Rufus Humphrey



And his wife Kirsten becomes the love of Rufus' life, Lily van der Woodsen (cue the semi-incestuous storyline):



But that's when it gets more complicated. For example, Little Jenny's brother, Dan Humphrey, is a bit of a mix of Seth Cohen and Ryan Cooper:



Serena's best friend and Queen 'B', Blair Waldorf, is very much the mix of Summer and Julie Cooper Nichol:



Kiki, Julie and the Noopsies get younger as they turn into the girls' clique at St Jude's:



(FYI, I've missed a few of the secondary characters in the right-hand side of the photo).

The relationship between Dan and Serena is a blend of Summer and Seth and Ryan and Marissa, with all the angsty-ness, Dan's longstanding up-until-now-unrequited obsession with Serena, and the insider-outsider aspect of the relationship:




Similarly, the friendship between Blair and Serena isn't as reminiscent of the stick-by-you Summer and Marissa as the on-off semi-but-still-ultimate-BFFness of Kirsten and Julie:

JK-BS.jpg

And the relationship between Lily and Rufus is complicated by her courting of billionaire Bart Bass, a pseudo Caleb Nicholesque character:



Finally, Luke's relationship with Marissa in the first season of OC translates to childhood sweethearts Blair and Nate:



So, that's a really basic starting guide. You know, I love it.

[People.com: Gossip Girl: The New O.C.]
[Socialite Life: Chace Crawford Checks Out An Older Woman]
[meeVee: "Gossip Girl" - "The O.C." Without the Heart]
[Muckety: Gossip Girl resurrects OC themes]
[Metromix Chicago: 'Gossip Girl'... in 'The O.C.'?]
[NY Observer: The O.C. Goes N.Y.C.]

Oh, no you did-int...

I'll still go watch it. Still, this has to be one of the worst mental-image inducing headings I've come across in a long time.

PS. Has anyone else seen this lovely tip to To Kill A Mockingbird?

[The PEN15 Club]

Random Harry Potter Saturday

Some thoughts (I've only read the first chapter):

• Typical - Voldemort WOULD stay at the Malfoys
• Who would honestly cast Wormwood as the Dungeon Keeper?
• Based on the friendship quote at the beginning of the book, I bet Hermione, Ron or Neville are going down. And given it's the last book, all are equally likely.
• Maybe Bellatrix and Neville will have their showdown. That would be pretty cool.
  

Also, based on the conversation Lady M and I had on the way to breakfast, Italians can easily be summed up as the Baker of the piece (that would be the monkey):



And since it's been a while since I blogged, some random thoughts.

• Chore Wars. Is there any better way to get geeks to clean their room?
• My friend CK and I have decided, in response to that stupid Sociology paper comparing myspace and facebook users, that we are going to trash our Facebook profiles up with all sorts of useless applications. So far, I am a Lieftenant Zombie, my stripper name is Kyle Bangleboss, I routinely Food Fight, I get useless gifts from friends, my Graffiti wall includes a drawing of my head while hungover and a picture of a crocodile, and I'm twins with the wilma and the morag.
  
• I want a Glen Hanson Golden Girls t-shirt! So does Weasel, I suspect.
• Simpsonize me sucks. As a comparison, look at what I came up with on the Simpsons Movie site (the first one) and the crappy Simpsonize Me version (from a frontal, and NOT side on, photo taken on my spanky new MacBook - further down):
  
  
  
  
  
  

[Able and Baker]
[Chore Wars]
[GMSV: Honey, about your new boyfriend — your mom and I think he’s a little too “MySpacey” for you]
[Glen Hanson]
[weasel's wacky world of poptaculosity]
[Simpsonize Me]
[Simpsons Movie]

LA was a Riot

I've had heaps of fun, staying at a friend's place in WeHo. Some thoughts about my mini-break:

1) Wear flip-flops/thongs to the airport.
No one likes those smelly-sock-feet when you're going through the domestic security screen.

2) Check for all your stuff before you leave
Know how you forget something when you go on holiday?
This time it was my debit card. Except I realised that it was stolen and someone withdrew the balance of the account last week. Bugger. Oh well, something to talk to the police about tomorrow. And then the bank.

3) Keep your laptop separate from the rest of your hand luggage for the security screen at the airport.

I'm a lucky boy. Security forced me to sit while they lifted and separated my luggage. Then they ran the piles of stuff through the scanners. Twice.

4) Be gracious in accepting your hosts' hospitality.

Especially if they're both hot. Offer gifts - like mornings full of groups sex. Especially when they're both into it.

5) An Australian accent does all sorts of things to gay Americans.

Especially hot latino men who will drop to their knees and offer a good blowjob at an after-hours blowout.

6) Go to after-hours blowouts...

7) No matter where you go, Cher is still a diva

As is Madonna, Babs, Better and all the others. And the Americans now know who Kylie is - especially the dancing queens.

8) References to Prisoner: Cell Block H will get you anywhere with 30+ yo hot gay men.

This is just randomly added for QP's amusement.

9) I love LA, but I couldn't live there.

That said, I'll happily visit WeHo at the drop of a hat.

Oh, there's a really cool hat store there called Goorin Brothers - very nice.

10) Most important - check out the bartenders at every venue, and make sure to talk to them.

They'll sometimes give your drink for free if they think you're hot - cf. item #5 above.

11) Uncle Charlie is not a nice copassenger, no matter how short the flight.

aka. White lines - don't do it.

kisses, B

Can't. Talk. Must. Study.

I have been very lazy when it comes to my studies whilst here. Really must finish all that work due two days ago.

Anyway, some more random observations from today:

• Gotta love this city. How often do you find a straight transgender woman police commissioner?
• Also, the street mags contain really interesting, cogent reporting. Like this piece on corruption in the necropolis city...

Oh, and best for last - I sat opposite a real life, latina Vicky Pollard on the bus this morning. I mean, full-out over-tight black jacket with overly small black denim capris, white plastic belt and hoop earrings, black sneakers, tight black ponytail with brass-coloured fringe flicking to the right...

Ok, so she looked a little more like 'I ain't bovvered' Lauren's best friend from the Catherine Tate Show than Vicky, but as soon as she started gossiping loudly about some friends of hers, how she had been suspended from school and her man, all I could think was 'No, but yeah, but no, but yeah...'

here i thought brothers and sisters was getting too much SD-6 action

WARNING: Spoilers ahead (this is for Lady M)

OK, so four days into SF and i've barely had a chance to experience this city. That said, I've caught up with a lot of TV watching, meaning I've gotten very confused with the shows that run however many weeks ahead here. For example:

• Eva Longoria is engaged to the watersports senator from Sex and the City
• Evil Francie from Alias is Madison from Grey's Anatomy's best friend
• The bastard daughter in Brothers & Sisters is committing adultery with one of her half-brothers-in-law
• OH, and I just watched Tyra Banks freak out at the sight of furry animals on her chat show - to the point where she knocked over half her set.

I forgot how weird this country is. Oh, and the one night I did go out:

• I got serenaded by a wannabe opera singer. Cute, but not as cute as
• The filmmaker I met in the smoking room of the bar
• or the Dutch travellers and their pseudo-boyfriends at Badlands

More later...

You know you're watching quality television when the chook stops squawking...

For some reason, despite the fact it is a public holiday, I can't sleep. So I start flicking through the channels on the TV to find a report on Channel Nine's Today Show on the Royal Easter show (currently under way, strangely enough).

The scary bit? The reporter was interviewing (at the same time) a world champion hula hooper AND getting a demonstration on how to clean chickens.

Don't get me wrong - I'm all for the promotion of poultry cleanliness. No one wants that chicken flu anywhere near them.

Is it just a bit much to ask that we not be put through the spectacle of watching the chook being cleaned while a girl in a black satin costume and big sunglasses twirls hoops around her neck and waist in the background?

I mean, here's one of the reasons why Today keeps losing to Sunrise in the morning show ratings stakes - they can't properly identify how much information you need to put to make a story. This is two stories, people - make two SEPARATE segments!