Friday, March 02, 2007

Last Impressions also count...

I've been avoiding writing blog entries for a while. Not because I don't enjoy writing (I do, when I get myself into it), or because I haven't had topics (I have), but because I've been really uninterested in spending my whole time looking back. I'm trying to change my life at the moment (as usual), and am a little concerned that my blog writing has become nothing more than a wallowing exercise.

Which makes this post somewhat puzzling. But it has it's reason - it's here to remind me of the sorts of situations I never want to be in again. Just to quickly recap (film-brochure style):

After moving out of a tedious household situation and escaping a string of morons and commitment-phobs in his personal life, Bads33d decides that he needs to focus on career goals and setting himself up financially before he can consider living with other people or dating someone. Unsurprisingly, within two weeks, he meets someone interesting and proceeds to start seeing him. All is well for two months, until he receives an unusual email one Friday morning...

So, I'm just about to post the email. This is not vindictive - frankly, I think the guy I was seeing has enough issues not to need another one added to the list, and besides I deliberately waited a few weeks before posting this. I guess it's to act as a personal mnemonic device: I've placed it up somewhere to remind myself how not to go about breaking up with someone and
just the sorts of thing that I've been letting myself get in and basically need to avoid.
Anyway, without further ado:

My thought for the day,
The desire to succeed means nothing without the will to prepare!
Funny that, I can so relate.

Babe I really need to talk to you about you and I.
Won’t go to too much detail at the moment but rather face to face as that would be more appropriate.

In brief, you said you ‘didn’t want a weekend boyfriend a while ago’.
Well I feel that may well be the case dating me.

I feel really bad because that’s all I’m able to offer you. I can well imagine you’re probably just as frustrated as I am at the moment and that will be very damaging to our relationship if we continue or rather if I continue doing this to you.

You’re a beautiful souls and a beautiful man and have a huge heart, but I just don’t want to lead you on and hurt you.
Quite honestly, I really love your company, your intellect and your scattiness even more. It’s a constant form of entertainment.

I really believe our intimate beginnings have made for a strong foundation to base a friendship on.
I said that if this didn’t work out I’d still love to have you around as a friend and I still stand by that comment.
I do want you around as a friend.

Hopefully after reading this you too want to maintain a friendship.
I not though, I also understand.

Give me a call or send an email and let me know what your thoughts are.

My immediate thought when I received this? Oh shit, here I am again.

That said, I've been thinking about my approach to life a lot lately. I don't have an answer to it all, but I do have a few ideas. More on this soon...

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