Tuesday, October 26, 2004


ever had the experience of being in a crowded bar or nightclub, a busy venue, looking for someone? i'm there. now.

what i usually do when something like that happens is stop to catch my breath. sit down. maybe chat with some people. that way, if i can't find my friend, i've made a new one (or four).

except right now, there's no place to sit down. and the dj is playing shit music. sides, there are always twelve more things to do before i can leave the club.

last night, a case in point:

after a brief conversation with a potential employer, i had a short window of time to send my CV off to him. so i headed home.

cept, everyone all of a sudden decided they really needed my advice or help or whatever. my sister couldn't get something working with an image she was working in photoshop, my mum was having her fortnightly breakdown. my brother decided this was the moment he had to tell me about his fears about moving to london or something and dad desperatelyhad to have a conversation about some banal topic.

despite the fact i was quite clearly needing to do some work of my own, none of them let off til i told them to all get fucked.

which of course, would make everything my fault.

i can't describe how humiliating it is to feel all of fifteen again, nine years after the fact.

why can't people get that sometimes i'm just not that drugfucked little party kid constantly on the dancefloor? don't they understand that i need my own sit down time?

ready or not, i'm leaving the club soon.

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