If I were on South Park, I'd look like this...

Courtesy South Park Studio

Insight: a typical badsd33d work day

Meetings, emails, etc. and then...

The Big Gay Bank Customer

Observe how we at (unnamed software customer) consider this customer (with one of the other poofs in the office):

bads33d 12:50:16
omg, our latest customer? big gay tax haven, methinks:
http://www.credicoop.com.ar
it's all very pride down south...

Coworker 12:51:03
lol

bads33d 12:51:34
i wonder if it's run by a mysterious man who walks with a cane that has a knife hidden inside

Coworker 12:51:53
hahahha

bads33d 12:51:59
and his wife is a famous cabaret singer who strangely marries his right hand man when he disappears, presumed dead

Coworker 12:52:12
lol

bads33d 12:52:40
i wonder if they have an esoteric bartender who plays guitar with her late at night?!?
12:53:36 i always wanted one of those...

Coworker 12:53:59


bads33d 12:54:03
can you imagine? you walk in, and they're playing 'put the blame on mame' on the speakers...

Bads33dinho

My Brazilname (the name you would have if you played for the Brazilian soccer team) is "Bincha".


http://www.minimalsworld.net/BrazilName/brazilian.shtml

I guess it's better than "Cardildo" (one of the girls in the office got that one.) Maybe.

Sketch

Walking home from work, I saw this amazing sight.

This young girl was standing outside of Wynyard station smoking.

She was about 5'10, with long black hair tied back in a ponytail with a red matte ribbon. She wore a tight pink shirt, and this floating, pleated blue dress. Her dark skin seemed to just exaggerate the whole 50s look.

The girl stood legs and back straight, leaning forward by bending at the waist. Her hand was curved round to the side; if she had been standing straight, she could almost be about to execute a pirhouette.

Every time she would go to puff, she would lean in to her unmoving arm. She'd inhale, and then lean further to exhale, her face staring upright into the straight, emotionless. She'd then lean back up slightly, to about 15 degrees below standing straight.

She just kept repeating this motion.

I couldn't work out whether she was a performance artist, a highly mannered smoker or a wanker.

UPDATE: I am officially an arsehole wanker. It turns out the girl is mentally disabled. I, on the other hand, feel really evil.

Better Dead than in Bed (with another soldier)

Nice to know the armed forces are still as homophobic as ever.


http://www.smh.com.au/news/national/gay-song-joke-link-to-kovco-death/2006/06/20/1150701524936.html

I could write a whole piece on this, but that's kinda QP's domain. Sides, it's kinda comforting to know that you can always rely on conservative groups and individuals to blame horrific events on minority groups:

"The song we were singing was in a female, homosexual way.

"(It was) almost to say this is so gay I would rather be dead.

Who's willing to bet that Soldier 17 wasn't getting any in the squadron showers?

Learning from La Lohan

Reading the PEN15 Club's blog about Lindsay Lohan's luck with her new film a while ago made me wonder what it is that has made it such a loss.

Not having seen the film (nor really caring what it's like), I can't help but wonder whether there's some truly banal reason for its lack of success. My bet: it's to do with her reputation. Sure it's obvious, and definitely plays into a LOT of stereotypes, especially about women having to look all sugar and spice etc, but the truth of the matter is, she hasn't been doing herself many favours. Until now.

Apparently, the other day La Lohan and that-hideous-bitch-whose-name-kinda-rhymes-with-lard-assand-is-anything-but had a lovely stoush at Butter, which I presume is some sort of nightclub. Or a place where the favoured form of dispute resolution is the one-liner. Quoting Socialite Life quoting Page Six:

Witnesses report Hilton went up to Lohan and shouted, "I can't believe you and Stavros! You are ridiculous!" After taking more insults and curses, Lohan said, "That's how you say hello? I don't need to respond to you." Lohan promptly left. A rep for Lohan said, "Correct. Paris tried to pick a fight with her and started screaming at her, but Lindsay took the high road."

Yes, I believe dating a "friend's" ex is typically taking the high road.

(side note: this does beg the question of why both girls have dated Brandon Firecrotch).

Anyway, full dibs to Lindsay. If only we could all take the high road and snort, vomit and overdye our way to poise and elegance. We all should be so lucky.

(Side note #2: When is kylie going to announce the Australian Showgirl tour dates? QP and I need to start preparing our We-love-Lulus)

When I grow up I want to be a... wuzzle?

Which Forgotten 80s Cartoon Character Are You?

You are Butterbear from the Wuzzles! No one really knows what to make of you. In fact, your mixed-up personality (and appearance) freaks some people out. That's probably why you weren't on the air for very long. You're not for everyone, but your true friends love your uniqueness.
Take this quiz!








Quizilla |
Join

| Make A Quiz | More Quizzes | Grab Code

Love for sale

Skimming through the local gay rags the other day, noticed this:

Would you like a side of Obvious with that?

We moved office while I was away sick. Coming in today, I found a sticker on my chair I'd not noticed before, with the following gem of advice:

"CARE SHOULD BE EXERCISED NEAR OPEN FLAME OR WITH BURNING CIGARETTES"

Ummm...

sheep

I was going to write about my cringe-inducing dream last night, where I ended up at some stupid new-age retreat rolling down hills or something, and then in the final session got so bored I(half-mockingly,half in the manner of a calm counsellor-cum-Marg-Downey-in-Kath-and-Kim) told this absolutely boring twit - after he admitted that the marriage was not going so well because he had "homosexual tendencies" - that he should either a) go screw a boy or b) join up to a married gay guys' counselling group with the missus. But that would be indicative of the crap writing that proliferates on this website, right?

So, instead of boring all with my tale, I'm following the whole trend of looking at which celebrities I most resemble according to myHeritage. Admittedly, I visited this site first about three months ago, but didn't like the results I got from the only half-decent (ok, completely shite) photograph I had of myself on my work computer. From other people's posts on their blogs, the idea seems to be to allow celebrities of both genders, and see who matches you closely. This time, with a decent (somewhat realistic) pic, I get the following ones:

at 70%

---

Jonathan Rhys Meyers. Yum - I've adored him since Velvet Goldmine.

at 68%

---

Admittedly, this is quite an old photo of Hugh Grant. Still, Ew.

Tarkan, some Turkish popstar. As usual, I've chosen a better pic than the one myHeritage gives me (for one thing, there's no gel or fugly goatee involved in this one...*shudder*). On the upside, a quick Google reveals him to be a flaming homo who is most famous for his single Şımarık (Holly Valance did it as Kiss Kiss). Big surprise there.

Now, that's more like it. Wolvericious. (Yes, 'tis Hugh Jackman)

64%

---

Admittedly, I loved Anne Hathaway in bareback mounting - just for that scene where she's on the phone with Ennis. Not enough to want to look like her, though.

I couldn't stop laughing when this one came up - as if I look anything like Andie Macdowell. You may as well have given me Malcolm.

63%

---

mmmm, Ian Somerhalder. I knew there was a reason I should start watching Lost. (Obviously, it's not going to be Charlie from Party of Five.)

Ok, I could stop there, but the next one is just too funny.

62%

---

Pene, you used to be so cute. Then you dated that closet-case couch jumper. What happened to the decent Cruz?
Incidentally, I wonder what QueerPenguin makes of this one?

This last one was too good to pass up. I wonder if I could pull off a drag version of Holly Hunter in Broadcast News?

PS. Apologies to the random websites I have ripped off for these pics - I admit full responsibility for my appalling lack of netiquette. Still, it's not like more than five people will read this.